Talk to Your Electric Utility
They will ultimately tell you what you can/can't do.
But the trend, as included in the latest NEC, is to have an outside disconnect near the meter. The logical extension of that is to use a meter main. That is basically a big box that contains the meter in one side, typically sealed for utility company access only, and a large yet small main panel on the other side.
What do I mean by large yet small? It is large because it handles your entire 200A feed. It is small because it has only a small number of breakers. Typically a 200A main breaker plus a few spaces for additional breakers. Actually, some of these have 20 or more spaces. But more practical, and ideal for your setup, is something with ~ 8 spaces. Each subpanel feed takes 2 spaces. 8 spaces gives you enough for:
- Double-breaker for your shed
- A convenience circuit so that you can have 120V for power even before you build the shed.
- An additional double-breaker (or 2) for other buildings or specific uses.
So the pole goes in first with the meter main on it. Then you build the shed, and possibly move the meter main to it, particularly if you are able to have the pole (service feed) put right next to where you are going to build the shed, which would be a good idea.
The shed then gets a subpanel, but you will actually use a "main" panel for it. Why a main panel? Because each building needs its own disconnect switch, and a main breaker works perfectly for that. So you might put in a 20 space, 100A panel. Or even something larger. The pricing is such that it won't cost much more than a tiny 8 space 60A subpanel, and this way you never have to worry about running out of breaker spaces in the shed. This is fed by an appropriate size breaker (typically 60A but could be larger) in the meter main.
Then you build the house. The house gets a big panel - e.g., 200A, 40 spaces. This should also be a "main" panel. The feed for this is the lugs on the meter main, so the house can get the full 200A of power and relies on the 200A main breaker of the meter main.
The key is that a main panel and a subpanel have only 3 differences:
- Main breaker - but you need that in your subpanels anyway because each one is in a different building
- Neutral-ground bond - if it comes preinstalled in a main breaker it is trivial to remove it for use as a subpanel
- Ground bar - if a main panel doesn't come with one (because in the main panel ground wires can go on the neutral bar) you can easily add one
All subpanels get a 4-wire feed - hot/hot/neutral/ground.
The main panel needs a ground rod, and each separate building does as well. The usual methods these days (used to be different with copper water pipes) is either two ground rods several feet apart or a single ufer ground. Since you are building new buildings, assuming you are using a concrete slab or foundation you should use (may be required to use) an ufer ground. I think, but you need to make sure, that if you put the meter main on the side of your shed that the ground attached to the meter main will suffice for the shed subpanel as well.
But before you do anything, check with your electric utility. They likely have specific procedures to follow. They may also have a list of specific meter mains that they approve - it is often not simply "any UL/ETL meter main".